Arbitrary Promotion Of The Week

As a public service, and in the interests of being less strident and divisive, the Editorial Junta will arbitrarily promote a random Edison employee to a new title and job description each week. This week's lucky employee is Dr. Paul Heintz, Psych.D, whom The Iluminator has promoted to the rank of Thrice Potent Master Of Taking On Too Many Committee Assignments. The new title recognizes his work as an online life-coach, his slavish devotion to quasi-administrative duties, and his life-long fight promoting encephalitis awareness. Also, should it turn out his "doctorate" is in something totally unrelated to his claimed expertise, it guarantees a 50% raise and a Dean/Vice President rank when he's moved to a protected post in the administration. Congratulations, Paul!

[Above, Heintz. Photo by Annie Leibowitz]

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

WTF?

Anonymous said...

I did not know that I was nominated for such a grand award, but I do want to thank all those involved and humbly accept.

Anonymous said...

(WTF)^2

Anonymous said...

SLow news day?

Editorial Junta said...

No, the Illumintor is committed to presenting, occasionally, positive reports from Edison, even if we have to make it up.

IBANerd said...

Don't forget Paul is also the winner of the 2nd floor decoration contest for the second straight year! Go Paul! You prove that we all have spare time to make the world a more beautiful place :)

Anonymous said...

Me? Paul? With my hairy legs? Thank you. And the decorating award too? You love me, you really love me....sniffle.