Arbitrary Promotion Of The Week

As a public service, and in the interests of being less strident and divisive, the Editorial Junta will arbitrarily promote a random Edison employee to a new title and job description each week. This week's lucky employee is Professor Iden Smith, whom The Iluminator has promoted to the rank of Dean of Dangerous Chemicals And Giving AQIP Half A Chance Even Though He Knows Better. The new title recognizes his work as an underwear model, his years of work as Porter Waggoner's tailor, and his hobby of preserving rare eucalyptus trees. Also, should it turn out his degree is in something totally unrelated to his claimed expertise, it guarantees a 50% raise and a Poobah/Vice President rank when he's moved to a protected post in the administration. Congratulations, Iden!

[Above, Smith. Photo by Annie Leibowitz]

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, no! He was such a nice guy. Say it ain't so. Please.

Anonymous said...

Executive Vice President of Strategeric Collections of Popular and Rock Music and DeeJay to the Board of Trustees was disallowed becuase of Iden's extensive collection and knowledge of all things music. Alas, poor Iden, he knew too much. I heard they were talking a 100% raise plus a car.

Anonymous said...

This is too important for such sophomoric tripe. Please do not go insane at this point. Keep the pressure on the pinhead.

(Anonymous)^2

Editorial Junta said...

Anonymous, if we can't have some release of the pressure, we'll all go insane. If you read this with the right eyes, it is satire. "strident and divisive"..."AQIP Half A Chance Even Though He Knows Better,"..."Also, should it turn out his degree is in something totally unrelated to his claimed expertise, it guarantees a 50% raise and a Poobah/Vice President rank when he's moved to a protected post in the administration." Tripe? Hardly. It's our reality.

Anonymous said...

Would swear I heard Iden once say that he really likes tripe.

Anonymous said...

If a Board member reads the IDEN tribute and doesn't get it it isn't satire.

Editorial Junta said...
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